29 January 2021

A primer on airline pricing

One of the most scorned and disdained – and least understood – pricing strategies is employed by the airline industry, illustrated by this anonymously authored email about purchasing house paint, circulated in Australia where Qantas has a large share of the market:

 

First, a reprise of how ordinary hardware stores sell paint:

 

Customer  Hi. How much is your paint?

 

Salesman  We have normal quality paint for $18 a litre and premium paint for $25. How many litres would you like?

 

Customer  Five litres of normal paint please.

 

Salesman  Great. That will be $90.

 

Now, imagine you are buying paint from Qantas: First you spend days trying to reach them by phone to ask if they have paint. Nobody answers. So, you drive to a Qantas store.

 

Customer  Hi. How much is your paint?

 

Salesman  Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.

 

Customer  Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?

 

Salesman  Our lowest price is $12 a litre, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a litre.

 

Customer  What’s the difference in the paint?

 

Salesman  Oh, there isn’t any difference; it’s all the same paint.

 

Customer  Well, then I’d like some of that $12 paint.

 

Salesman  When do you intend to use the paint?

 

Customer  I want to paint tomorrow. It’s my day off.

 

Salesman  Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.

 

Customer  When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?

 

Salesman  You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue until at least Sunday.

 

Customer  You’ve got to be kidding!

 

Salesman  I’ll check and see if we have any paint available.

 

Customer  You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!

 

Salesman  But it doesn’t mean that we have paint available. We sell only a certain number of litres on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price per litre just went to $16. We don’t have any more $12 paint.

 

Customer  The price went up as we were talking?

 

Salesman  Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds of times per day, and since you haven’t actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we have just decided to change. I suggest you purchase your paint as soon as possible. How many litres do you want?

 

Customer  Well, maybe five litres. Make that six, so I’ll have enough.

 

Salesman  Oh no, sir, you can’t do that. If you buy paint and don’t use it, there are penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.

 

Customer  WHAT?

 

Salesman  We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do bedroom, you will lose your remaining litres of paint.

 

Customer  What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!

 

Salesman  We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used, every drop. If you don’t, it causes us all sorts of problems.

 

Customer  This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if I don’t keep painting until after Saturday night!

 

Salesman  Oh yes! Every litre you bought automatically becomes the $200 paint.

 

Customer  But what are all these “Paint on sale from $10 a litre” signs?

 

Salesman  Well, that’s for our budget paint. It only comes in half-litres. One $5 half-litre will do half a room. The second half-litre to complete the room is $20. None of the cans have labels, some are empty and there are no refunds, even on the empty cans.

 

Customer  To hell with this! I’ll buy what I need somewhere else!

 

Salesman  I don’t think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for your bathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining room from someone else, but you won’t be able to paint your connecting hall and stairway from anyone but us. And I should point out sir, that if you paint in only one direction, it will be $300 a litre.

 

Customer  I thought your most expensive paint was $200!

 

Salesman  That’s if you paint around the room to the point at which you started. A hallway is different.

 

Customer  And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only paint in one direction, you’ll confiscate the remaining paint?

 

Salesman  No, we’ll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference on your next litre of paint. But I believe you’re getting it now, sir.

 

Customer  You’re insane!

 

Salesman  But we’re now THIS COUNTRY’S only paint supplier! And don’t go looking for bargains! Thanks for painting with Qantas (R. Baker, Pricing on Purpose, 2006).

1 comment:

  1. And if not enough customers buy our paint and therefore don't make any money we can always get a government bailout.

    ReplyDelete